Oleg Dulin

On having a life

When I was single my days were simple. I got up around 7:30am, went to work, left the office around 6:30pm. Sometimes I would get absorbed in coding and stay in the office till 10pm. The evenings when I didn't have my NYU grad school classes I went to the Belgian Beer Bar on W4th and 6th.

My typical day now goes like this. I wake up a 5:00am. My wife and I try to get up before the kids so we can get some morning chores done. I shower, have a coffee.

My 3.5 year old daughter gets up 5:30am and for the next hour I help her get herself ready for the day.

At about 6:35am I remind my daughter that it is time to go to school and she needs to get herself dressed. We leave the house at about 6:45am. I drop her off at school at 7:00am and make sure she is all settled and is ready for her day.

Around 7:15am I leave the daycare and drive to work. Driving is not the most optimal way to commute, but it gives me the flexibility I need to balance my work and my life. I keep a folding bike in trunk. On a good day I get to Jersey City in about 40mins, on a bad day it can be about an hour. I park at an optimal spot in Jersey City that is conveniently located within easy reach to NYC or to many employers in Jersey City.

I am in the office usually by about 8:15-8:30am. My most productive time is in the first half of the day and I feel like I get the most work done then. Around 11:30am I get myself lunch. If I wait till noon I will be standing in long lines. I eat at my desk. I try to get as much work done as I can.

My family needs me. If I don't have to work late, I don't volunteer. I leave around 5:30pm, definitely no later than 6pm, but if I can get out before 5:30pm I do. I get home typically around 6:30pm to find my wife dealing with a whiny toddler daughter and an infant boy. I take over the toddler daughter management, help her finish her dinner and take a bath, and go to sleep by 7:30pm-8:00pm. I get about 10 mins of quality time with my infant son before he goes to sleep for the night. By then, I am spent.

I have a life now. I have a wonderful family and I wouldn't change a thing. The kids are only kids for so long.

Those of us in the technology sector see it all the time: co-workers who put in incredible hours coding away as though they have nothing else in their lives. And quite often, they don't.

I used to be one of those people.

[From Nick Bradbury: Don't Trade Your Life for Tech]

Happy father's day

I am having a flu-infested father's day this year. But it is the events like this that make me realise what is important in my life.

My 2.5 year old daughter goes to a daycare. Surprisingly, she didn't get sick since February. With nothing else to worry about I started worrying about my career development again. That was until last week when she caught a flu.

Lucky for us, my wife works in a public school and the school year is over. So I had to stay home with our daughter for a few days and then next week my wife can take over. I took our little girl to the doctor, took care of her, and of course as I anticipated this weekend I came down with a flu.

My daughter is being really cute about it.  Yesterday, she covered me with a blanket on the couch, brought me a pillow and TV remote. She gave me a kiss on the forehead. While my wife was out getting me Tamiflu I couldn't entertain our toddler -- so I offered her to watch 3 cartoons instead of her usual two 5-minute Scholastic cartoons. She said, "That's ok, daddy, if it makes you feel better I will only watch two" followed by "Can you please get better so you can play with me?"

I feel a bit better today. Tamiflu is kicking in and the fever is not as high anymore. I still feel like crap, but my family taking care of me is the best father's day present I could get.

What motivates me

I am off for a week to spend Passover with my family. While my wife is buying groceries this morning I spent a couple of hours outside watching our 2.5 year old daughter playing with her play set in our backyard. That got me thinking of what motivates me to succeed in my career:

• My family. Doing my best to secure opportunities to our American-born daughter that our immigrant parents couldn't offer to us. Teaching her the freedoms and responsibilities that come with living in a free society and making sure she doesn't forget her roots.
• A job where I get to own and take responsibility of a chunk of the product. 
• Being recognized at work for my talent, passion for technology and experience.
• Working hard each day to finish my work on time and with quality so I don't miss our family dinner and my daughter's bed time.
• An opportunity to make my project better.
• Feeling that I have contributed something useful to my employer or customer.